Undisclosed Thoughts

Yack!

I realize that the below post I sound like some trust fund emo/hipster kid.  I must kill myself. 

(no i’m really not suicidal!)

"You use to be so pretty.."

Lately, I have been taking a lot of shit from people. I mean a lot of shit. And guess what that shit is not sitting well with me.  I am fucking angry. I’m beyond angry I’m FUCKING PISSED! I’m fucking sick of fucking people and I’m going to break all this shit down for you.

You see I am who I am.  I am not about to apologize about the type of person I am.  I am a beautiful Black female with TWO fucking jobs, going to school full time, got a nice ass savings account, a new crib and numerous scholarships and grants and I love to fuck, suck, be fucking critical and a supportive fucking individual.  I am a fucking bitch, but I will keep it real when all your little user ass friends will sit around and lie on their dicks.  I will be the one to get you out of a sticky last minute situation while everyone else is sitting back not answering their phones. I’m the fucking bitch that will fucking defend you to the death even if the shit is true just so the world won’t judge you as I have been fucking judged! I am the bitch that make sure your shit is tight and will stay up with your ass until its tight! So yes world that is me Vicki! You don’t fucking like it fuck off.  You don’t like the things I do, I don’t give a fuck.  You don’t like the things I say, stop fucking listening.  You don’t like the things I write, click the fucking X.  I’m not forcing myself on anybody. 

So yes lately people have been really fucking with me.  People who I would not have suspected to even go as far as to say some of things that they have said and some who I expected nothing less out of them.  Motherfucker’s who think that they are above me. That they “can’t even see (me), because that how high (they) are above me.”  Good for you.  Good that you think that you are that much better than me and great that it makes you fee good to believe that shit.  I am happy for you.  I am happy that your so threatened by everything that I am that you have to make it seem like you have the upper hand.  I am happy for you.  I am happy that people chose to sit around and also talk shit about me. I love it because *secret time* I don’t even know you and yet you know who the fuck this bitch is. So thank you fucking haters. Your hate is greatly fucking appreciated.

I am owning who I am, are you?  These people fucking kill me going around judging everybody else, but look at yourself.  I am not perfect.  I am flawed individual.  I have issues, problems, and idiosyncrcies.  But do I judge you by what you do in life? No, because I don’t give a fuck! I am sorry I just cannot care beyond myself and my family.  Your life of secrets and hiding is not my fucking life so if you chose it-hey more power to you.  I don’t care anymore.  I know who am.  I know who I fucked and what my grades look like and shit like that.  I am not hiding from the truth.  Who gives a fuck anyway? Oh that’s right retarded motherfuckers do.  Motherfuckers who are so scared to live and be judged by everyone fucking else.  Who sit around and spend their lives trying to make sure that everyone loves them.  Sorry I’m know Ms. Nice Guy.  I fucking spot the phony before the phony even know it.  So whatever. 

I don’t know how many fucking times I have to let these people know, if you have a fucking problem with me or I offend you, bring it to me.  I might seem stand offish, but I’ll respect you more than sitting up there gossiping about the situation.  I am sick and tired of defending ME!  I am physically and emotionally tired, ya’ll.  And I’m not writing this to be mean.  I am writing this because this is how I feel.  I feel tired and worn out. I am tired of having people in my life who are not uplifting and supportive.  I am tired of giving giving giving and getting nothing in return.

So please all you haters, enemies, or what not please do me a huge favor and kill yourselves.  Your life is basically empty when you sit around and waste your simple time trying to put me down. Sorry to tell you, but you can’t put this sister down.  No matter what you say. I OWN me. You should learn to do the same.

I know I have been MIA.  I promise I will be back with more. I have things that I have to discuss outside of being angry and shit.  I always want to write, I do, but I get so tired after working that I don’t.

Also this is the last time I will address the issue of MYSELF. I will not do it anymore because I wil not allow these people to bring me down. 

Love you all (even the side-eyed haters and frenemies).

P.S. You’re so vain you probably think this shit is about you.

HAPPY DADDY'S DAY!

I love my daddy immensely!  I love love love my daddy! I would like to thank my dad for being the cool kick ass dad any girl can ask for! Thanks daddy for dropping money in my account when I frivilously spend it on clothes or booze! Thank you daddy or listening to me bitch and moan about mommy and how she can be a crazy nut! Thank you daddy for being the provider and husling to make sure us girls stay fly in these streets! 

I love you DADDY!

The Ghetto in Me

Hello! I am sorry I have been gone away. I soo much I want to talk about. So so so much.  Summer 08 is here! Yea I am excited.  The summer has kicked off to a very good start too.  So many good things have been happening to me and I feel very grateful for them all.  I have been also doing me so much more lately with little thought as to what people will think about me.  I know you are quietly judging but who cares?!  I only have one life and I’m trying to live out my life the way I see fit!

Anywho, I was just on fashionista and I saw a post for robin blue egg nail color and this one commet caled the color unprofessional.  Well I got my nails done yesterday with a series of colors.

You may also notice how crusty my hand are because they are peeling horribly! But I love bright multicolored nails. I know that they are very unprofessional, but it is summer and shouldn’t there be exceptions in the summer?  This is the ghetto in me. However, when I look down at my hands I feel happy and sunny so whatevs!

So my life has been going along quite swell. I started my internship and I like it.  I’m learning a lot about accounting and I feel like this will def help me figure out what my next step is after graduation. I am thinking about getting my MBA then going to Law school, but I am not positive. I am leaning more towards my MBA then anything.

It has been so long that I don’t even know what to talk about. I’ll just sum up the last month and a half with pool party, poison ivy rash, period finally!, pooling it, sex with boys, and saving money!