Undisclosed Thoughts

So addictive! I want puppies!

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:03:16 -0500

So addictive! I want puppies!

On a hiatus

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:38:35 -0400

I’m taking a break from life until October 15. That means no more personal shopping and no more writing on here.

See ya then (hopefully)!

My first M.A.C. purchase

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:30:00 -0400

When I was a wee bot of 17, me and this girl Zuri went to the MAC counter in Marshall Fields on State Street and asked about makeup! We asked this pretty black girl who’s makeup was applied beautifully to help two pimply teenagers out. She put foundation and blush on us and then she gave us every black girl staple-OH BABY LIPGLASS! I was hooked. Oh Baby looked so good on my lips covered with the clear gloss. I remember writing down all the products that I was to buy and saying that when I got paid, I would come back and get my OH BABY lipglass.

I got my Oh Baby lipglass and rocked the hell out of it. I felt grown. I didn’t need all that other stuff. Foundation and blush (isn’t that for white people?), mascara, none of that. I was happy with my Oh Baby tube of sexiness. I was still a Carmex girl though. I had to keep it hood on some levels.

My next MAC purchase was Irridescent Powder in Golden Bronze. I bought this for prom. I never used it and still have a full jar in my bathroom. The MUA told me that I desperately needed it for prom. I didn’t even have foundation, how the hell was I going to wear some loose powder? I didn’t even own a brush!

Prom passed with the help of my friend Kristy and I went off to college. Soon I was surrounded by girls who wore makeup everyday (and heels wtf!-but that is another story!). I was suprised to see girls put on so much makeup before going to class, caf, or just to hang out on the yard. I was still kicking it with Carmex. I had lost my last tube of Oh Baby and I had quit Fields, so I didn’t have the discount to pick up another one. I was makeup clueless and I didn’t understand why all these girls wanted to wear makeup everyday! My basics of life then was wash my face, brush my teeth, throw some carmex on and keep it moving. I didn’t use a moisturizer or toner. I didn’t even know what all that did. I was just concerned with waking up and getting to class semi on time. When I would sit in class, I would look at all the girls faces and most of them would have on makeup and I would be so amazed. I never understood why it was so important to wear makeup to class. I remember having an argument with Saran about how stupid it is to wear makeup everyday. I remember her storming out of my room and tanya and I laughing.

Then I went on springbreak. I bought my first foundation. I got a Studio Stick in NW45. I loved the coverage and I look back at the pictures and say damn my face looks good for once. I was still a novice. I didn’t know shit else about makeup. I still thought blush was for white people and mascara was a weird thing to me. And please lets not talk about bronzer. Ain’t that for white people too? I thought so until I discovered my roommate (from hell-j/k?) Ayana’s gold compact of bronzer in Refined Golden. I remember playin in it and loving how healthy I looked. Since I was poor, I couldn’t run out and buy it. I kept it on my checklist of things to buy. I still wasn’t rocking makeup everyday, only to the clubs now. I would finally buy my bronzer the summer of 05 (and my first brush!) and it would be almost a year later before I bought makeup again.

Something in me started to realize that maybe it’s ok to rock makeup everyday. I didn’t see anything wrong in looking nice everyday. I liked how well makeup covered up my flaws and brought out my true beauty, so why not feel good everyday. So by springbreak 06, I started to purchase more foundation and some drugstore makeup items. I was still clueless about everything, but I was starting to get it. I had a few colored eyeliners and a blush! I was moving up! By that summer I had concealer too! I had finally bought some brushes too! That school year I started to look at more MAC stuff online and see what things I needed. I needed a decent blush and a different foundation. I went to the store and asked questions and I came super prepared. I was ready to leap forward into my new love-makeup.

I was buying and trying everything. I was in love with Studio Fix powder. It helped control my shininess! I was crushing hard on Raizin blush. I was still weary about eyeshadows, but I had finally copped some black liner and I was addicted to L’Oreal Volumnous in Black. I still didn’t understand lipglass beyond Oh Baby, so I didn’t waste my money on that. I was still a Carmex girl. I was really coming into my own. I was learning how to apply my makeup and what worked best for me. I wasn’t a full blown addict. I was just learning.

Fast forward to February of 08. Something in my went crazy. I was more into makeup thanI had ever been before. I remember going into the MAC store after leaving my gyno exam and running down a list of shit that I needed. My list was Studio Tech (my all time favorite foundation for good and silky coverage), Fix+, and Cellophane pink Lip Gelee. I then peeped the Fafi line. The packaging was cute and then I started to reflect on seeing a Barbie line. I asked the MUA about the Barbie line and she laughed and said that was limited edition. What is limited edition, I ask. She then puts me on to something that would be my uprising (or downfall if you believe in addictions). I remember going home and googling “MAC product launches.” I came to several wonderful sites who helped me learn so much about makeup. My favorite is Temptalia.com. She gave me everything I needed-swatches, product release dates, brushes to buy, and TUTORIALS! I was hooked and the next MAC launch was the beauty powder blush. I was looking up reviews and swatches deciding which colors I wanted. I settled on Serenly and Joyous. Then the Holy Grail of launches for me happened-Heatherette. the packaging was hot pink so you know I had to have it. I went to the store the day it launched and got all the pretty pink packaged things. I went home and played and I looked in the mirror and said, “I cannot let this get out of control!”

Fast forward to now. My BlackBerry calendar is filled with launch dates and I spend roughly $200 a month on makeup. I find myself now giving makeup advice to my friends and I was the last one in the bunch to get on the makeup train. I am a full blown makeup fiend. I depot my blushes and eyeshadows and I have multiple palettes. i use lipliner and lip gloss. I have several lipsticks. I am still learning how to do my eyes, but I now have all the tools to learn. I have quality brushes and numerous eye products. I have several mascaras (even the new Colassal which at first I hated but now I love). I know how to fill in my brows and make them appear shaped even when I haven’t had them waxed in weeks. I am quickly becoming a pro. And I love it.

P.S If you ever want to get me a gift, a MAC giftcard will do…

My future baby daddy! He’s legal!

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 08:40:46 -0400

My future baby daddy! He’s legal!

Yack!

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 01:18:19 -0400

I realize that the below post I sound like some trust fund emo/hipster kid. I must kill myself.

(no i’m really not suicidal!)

Karl Lagerfeld's Guide to Life

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 00:40:57 -0400

Karl Lagerfeld's Guide to Life: This blog is so mode, hmmm?

Isn’t it crazy?!

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:36:11 -0400

Isn’t it crazy?!

Truly the best mix!

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 02:42:34 -0400

Truly the best mix!

"You use to be so pretty.."

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:47:24 -0400

Lately, I have been taking a lot of shit from people. I mean a lot of shit. And guess what that shit is not sitting well with me. I am fucking angry. I’m beyond angry I’m FUCKING PISSED! I’m fucking sick of fucking people and I’m going to break all this shit down for you.

You see I am who I am. I am not about to apologize about the type of person I am. I am a beautiful Black female with TWO fucking jobs, going to school full time, got a nice ass savings account, a new crib and numerous scholarships and grants and I love to fuck, suck, be fucking critical and a supportive fucking individual. I am a fucking bitch, but I will keep it real when all your little user ass friends will sit around and lie on their dicks. I will be the one to get you out of a sticky last minute situation while everyone else is sitting back not answering their phones. I’m the fucking bitch that will fucking defend you to the death even if the shit is true just so the world won’t judge you as I have been fucking judged! I am the bitch that make sure your shit is tight and will stay up with your ass until its tight! So yes world that is me Vicki! You don’t fucking like it fuck off. You don’t like the things I do, I don’t give a fuck. You don’t like the things I say, stop fucking listening. You don’t like the things I write, click the fucking X. I’m not forcing myself on anybody.

So yes lately people have been really fucking with me. People who I would not have suspected to even go as far as to say some of things that they have said and some who I expected nothing less out of them. Motherfucker’s who think that they are above me. That they “can’t even see (me), because that how high (they) are above me.” Good for you. Good that you think that you are that much better than me and great that it makes you fee good to believe that shit. I am happy for you. I am happy that your so threatened by everything that I am that you have to make it seem like you have the upper hand. I am happy for you. I am happy that people chose to sit around and also talk shit about me. I love it because *secret time* I don’t even know you and yet you know who the fuck this bitch is. So thank you fucking haters. Your hate is greatly fucking appreciated.

I am owning who I am, are you? These people fucking kill me going around judging everybody else, but look at yourself. I am not perfect. I am flawed individual. I have issues, problems, and idiosyncrcies. But do I judge you by what you do in life? No, because I don’t give a fuck! I am sorry I just cannot care beyond myself and my family. Your life of secrets and hiding is not my fucking life so if you chose it-hey more power to you. I don’t care anymore. I know who am. I know who I fucked and what my grades look like and shit like that. I am not hiding from the truth. Who gives a fuck anyway? Oh that’s right retarded motherfuckers do. Motherfuckers who are so scared to live and be judged by everyone fucking else. Who sit around and spend their lives trying to make sure that everyone loves them. Sorry I’m know Ms. Nice Guy. I fucking spot the phony before the phony even know it. So whatever.

I don’t know how many fucking times I have to let these people know, if you have a fucking problem with me or I offend you, bring it to me. I might seem stand offish, but I’ll respect you more than sitting up there gossiping about the situation. I am sick and tired of defending ME! I am physically and emotionally tired, ya’ll. And I’m not writing this to be mean. I am writing this because this is how I feel. I feel tired and worn out. I am tired of having people in my life who are not uplifting and supportive. I am tired of giving giving giving and getting nothing in return.

So please all you haters, enemies, or what not please do me a huge favor and kill yourselves. Your life is basically empty when you sit around and waste your simple time trying to put me down. Sorry to tell you, but you can’t put this sister down. No matter what you say. I OWN me. You should learn to do the same.

I know I have been MIA. I promise I will be back with more. I have things that I have to discuss outside of being angry and shit. I always want to write, I do, but I get so tired after working that I don’t.

Also this is the last time I will address the issue of MYSELF. I will not do it anymore because I wil not allow these people to bring me down.

Love you all (even the side-eyed haters and frenemies).

P.S. You’re so vain you probably think this shit is about you.

(via afuckaday) Goddamn I love her!

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 23:41:37 -0400

(via afuckaday)

Goddamn I love her!

HAPPY DADDY'S DAY!

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:37:56 -0400

I love my daddy immensely! I love love love my daddy! I would like to thank my dad for being the cool kick ass dad any girl can ask for! Thanks daddy for dropping money in my account when I frivilously spend it on clothes or booze! Thank you daddy or listening to me bitch and moan about mommy and how she can be a crazy nut! Thank you daddy for being the provider and husling to make sure us girls stay fly in these streets!

I love you DADDY!

My favorite song to ever come out of my weekend job!

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:31:00 -0400

My favorite song to ever come out of my weekend job!

The Ghetto in Me

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:39:04 -0400

Hello! I am sorry I have been gone away. I soo much I want to talk about. So so so much. Summer 08 is here! Yea I am excited. The summer has kicked off to a very good start too. So many good things have been happening to me and I feel very grateful for them all. I have been also doing me so much more lately with little thought as to what people will think about me. I know you are quietly judging but who cares?! I only have one life and I’m trying to live out my life the way I see fit!

Anywho, I was just on fashionista and I saw a post for robin blue egg nail color and this one commet caled the color unprofessional. Well I got my nails done yesterday with a series of colors.

You may also notice how crusty my hand are because they are peeling horribly! But I love bright multicolored nails. I know that they are very unprofessional, but it is summer and shouldn’t there be exceptions in the summer? This is the ghetto in me. However, when I look down at my hands I feel happy and sunny so whatevs!

So my life has been going along quite swell. I started my internship and I like it. I’m learning a lot about accounting and I feel like this will def help me figure out what my next step is after graduation. I am thinking about getting my MBA then going to Law school, but I am not positive. I am leaning more towards my MBA then anything.

It has been so long that I don’t even know what to talk about. I’ll just sum up the last month and a half with pool party, poison ivy rash, period finally!, pooling it, sex with boys, and saving money!

Photo

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 14:34:15 -0400

Pocket Secrets

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 21:17:37 -0400

Pocket Secrets

"And promiscuity was an important part of my development as a woman. Promiscuity made it possible for..."

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 02:02:21 -0400

“And promiscuity was an important part of my development as a woman. Promiscuity made it possible for me to better understand myself, my emotional needs, my kinks, my physical range, my priorities, as well as my relationship to other people. When we accuse women (never men, always women) of having no respect for their bodies when they sleep many, many men, we’re working from the assumption that sex itself is degrading to women (never men), when the contrary should be true. That nagging, pervasive Judeo-Christian construct of sex as some corruptive force keeps us defensive and nervous when we should be forthright and proud.”

- -Debauchette

I will never forget this day. YES WE CAN!

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0400

I will never forget this day. YES WE CAN!

I WANT MY MAC COLLECTION TO LOOK LIKE THIS! video from...

Sat, 31 May 2008 10:15:00 -0400

I WANT MY MAC COLLECTION TO LOOK LIKE THIS!

video from temptalia.com

I love this version! I promise I will be back soon kai?

Sat, 24 May 2008 23:16:17 -0400

I love this version!

*I promise I will be back soon kai?*

K will u be my secret lover forever? xoxo, Sasha

Tue, 06 May 2008 16:47:15 -0400

K will u be my secret lover forever?

xoxo,

Sasha